My childhood dream of becoming a lawyer has vanished. The dream of becoming a top executive in the corporate world is gone too.. But those dreams only ceased to exist because I had a change of heart. corny. haha.

Yes. I spent the long weekend contemplating on what I really want to do with life.. I know now...

My highschool friend and I were having this conversation...

gretch: I want to be married at the age of 25 or 26 but seeing that I have no such luck in love.. i doubt if it will happen.. i don't even know if i still want to marry someday..

me: i want to marry between 27-29 yo. i remember what my biology prof (Dr. Anabelle Herrera) told us during our class. "ladies, don't you ever marry beyond 30 yo.. coz by then, you'll be bringing morons to earth." It was during the lecture on the female reproductive system.

gretch: i might just focus on my career.. i don't think if men are worth all the pain

me: me? i don't want to work in a hotel or resto or working for a company most of my life. i want to be an economist. a home economist. haha.. and run a family business on the side. u know, be an entrepreneur.

gretch: haha.

Maybe this dream was here inside me all along. it's just that i didnt acknowledge it or i didn't accept it because i just cant let go yet of my dreams.

And the journey goes on...

Together we sail through life... and love.

You have taught me to believe in love... and to hold on to it.

I pray we could make it together through thick and thin... and distance.

Come and let us bring

Loyal schoolmates sing together

To praise our alma mater

And uphold the ideals we stand

Loyalty, honor and service

We all give to you

And our love shall never die

Long live alma mater

Move forward and guide us ever

To honor God and our fellowmen

And shout, "alma mater"

Sacred Heart of Jesus Montessori School

--hehe. wala lang. just thought of posting it.

Showing na ang A very special love ni Sarah Geronimo and John LLoyd. Gusto ko pa naman sana itong panoorin last week pero nagbago na ang isip ko ngayon. Since he's no longer my special love and we're already through Im no longer in the mood to watch the movie. Maiisip ko lang siya and baka umiyak lang ako ng bonggang-bongga sa sinehan.

Pero di pa rin ako magsasalita ng tapos kasi malay mo.. shet, ano ba yan? am i actually hoping na we can work things out.. ano naman ngayon? untog ko nalang ulo ko sa pader... well, anyway, if things work out for the two of us and showing pa ang special love... baka panoorin ko pa rin.. and hopefully with him. shet!

Sabi nga daw, Love knows no reasons.. haha. pagsure oi?!

Talaga bang pinaglalaruan ako ng pagkakataon?

Sa dinami-dami naman ng pwede kong makita in a day ay talagang isang sasakyan pa na may plate ng PNPA ang nakita ko kaninang umaga. It's not a everyday kasi that you can see a vehicle that has PNPA's plate na talagang nakabalandra pa sa harapan ng sasakyan kaya kitang-kita ko kahit akoy sakay ng jeep na nasa unahan. At sa dinami-dami din ng araw sa isang taon, at may tatlumpu't-isang araw sa Hulyo ay kaninang umaga ko pa ito nakita kung kelan nagdesisyon akong ayoko na talaga!

Nakakainis talaga!

"People come into our lives

Leave footprints in our hearts

And we are never the same."

- I read this quote a long time ago- 

i actually enjoyed reading my previous posts. You know, a little reminiscing and i got to laugh and feel sad while recalling the incidents i described in my entries. some reminded me of some things, of some feelings that i once felt, of the emotions i had while writing my blog. haha. a bit corny. i know. but it gives me a nice feeling. not only did i enjoy now reading my posts but also, i read previous entries of my friends in their blogs. some i read up to the first entry they posted. haha. while reading some stuff, i notice that i was so opinionated during my college years compared to now. i don't know. maybe it's because of my frustrations over so many things that i can no longer see myself clearly which makes it hard for me to position myself with regards to particular issue.

and i enjoyed reading some of my comments to my friends' posts too. haha. funny talaga. and i realized na dami ko palang comments na kunwari anonymous ako. haha. tsaka most of the times na kunwari di ko sinasabi name ko, e, ewan ko kung sang lupalop ko kinuha yung mga pinagsusulat ko. nakakatawa talaga.

which made me think na mas gusto ko atang magsulat as anonymous kasi i can express myself better. i always mind kasi wat other people will say tp my opinions.. yah, alam ko, i shouldnt kaya nga its my opinion pero in a way di ko talga maiwasang maisip kung ano ang iisipin nila if i say something negative or positive sa isang issue. ayokong may nakakaaway na tao kahit na bang alam ko na parang medyo mababaw ata yung reason na yun.. pero ganun talaga. isang reason din kung bakit i want to keep my anonymity is because i dont want exposing the real me to other people. i want to keep things to myself as much as possible. i dont want to say things for my emotions show whenever i say things. and i dont want them judging me from my emotions.. and always, when i show strong emotions over some thing, it reveals the real me. and when the my real self is revealed, it makes me think of myself being susceptible to other people's judgments. tama nga na. itigil na. naguguluhan na ako e. oras na para manood ng tv. :D

Suffering from emotional pain is worse than that of physical pain. I know we all know this fact. you all know this fact.

Nevertheless, I will still write about it in this entry. haha. This is my blog after all. (drama mode)

Physical pain is better than emotional pain. Why? Because there are medicines that you can buy over the counter to lessen your pain. If it is toothache or other body aches you can buy some pain relievers like ibuprofen or mefenamic acid. You can have aspirin for headaches or fever and so on. But there isn't an over-the-counter drug to cure emotional pain. Curing it would mean that you have to wallow in that pain, make it a part of your system and eventually you find yourself numb against the pain.. or is it the acceptance part that can cure you? hehe

The market today is so full of products that promise you to lose weight in a matter of weeks. Almost all the products you see in the groceries and supermarkets and on advertisements have "zero calories" or "no calories" or something that suggests minimal calories on their labels. There are also a lot of equipment you can use to aid your weight-loss regimen.

People are so conscious of their calorie intake and so they are also conscious of the food they eat. They have to lessen sweet and oily foods, fatty foods and the like to maintain their figure.

But how about people like me whose major problem is being thin? I am not really so thin like a stick but relative to most people, I am really thin. Below average. There was never a point in time since my childhood years that I can say I am fat, 'coz really I wasn't. My parents have bought me supplements to help increase my appetite but still I am like this. Which makes me wonder where have all those vitamins, supplements and food gone? And you know what, I still weigh the same as when I was in high school. For many years now, I secretly wish to gain at least five kilograms more than my weight.

So i searched for some articles and tips on the web on how to actually achieve my target. 

I found one article that tackles about taking up a certain level of calorie per day to maintain or increase weight.. and how much calories you have to add in your diet to increase your weight while doing excercise. And I have started on doing this.. like when I go to groceries or supermarkets, I would actually look at the nutrition facts of a certain product and compare it with other products and buy the one which has more calories. But it isn't really that simple because I still have to take into account the source of calories.. whether it is more on fat or is it from protein or from carbs. The article suggests that I should be getting more calories from protein so it would add to my bones' mass. And I should also have to stay away from trans fats since these fats have tendencies to be carcinogenic because of free radicals.. or is it, these fats are carcinogenic.. anyway, it's something to that effect.. (i already forgot our lessons in FN 11 and HRIM 103)

I am dead serious about gaining weight so no matter how tiresome, tedious and cumbersome this may be as what I have learned now, I am very eager to go through all these trouble just to hit my target.