im happy. im sad. i dont know why. sana walang makakabasa nitong post ko kundi ako lang. ayokong mabasa to ng iba.

bakit ba kahit na pinipilit mo nang kalimutan e nagpupumilit pa ring lumitaw? di ko na tuloy alam ang gagawin ko. sobrang naguguluhan na ako. ngunit di naman ako dapat maguluhan dahil la naman akong dapat pagkaguluhan. e pano ba yan.. at naguguluhan pa rin ako sa aking nararamdaman?

is this what they call love?

yuck.. sounds so corny, huh? hehehe

its been more than a year and here i am, still thinking of the same thing. still feeling the same way.. someone may come and go but he will still remain in my heart no matter what.. 

i never thought it will come this far. akala ko its just the usual "crush".. after a few weeks or months.. lilipas din.. pero hindi e.. lalong tumatagal mas lalong nag-uugat.

gusto ko siyang makita lagi but that would be impossible. we're worlds apart. he's in other world. so far from where i am right now.

sometimes, i wish time to stop for just a moment and let him be near me. how i wish i'd known him before pa. sana di nalang nag move ang mundo and everything had frozen a year ago. e di sana, we're still in the same world till now.

hay.. siguro sobrang haba pa nito kaya hanggang dito nalang muna at baka umiyak pa ako sa sobrang kalungkutan.  

Just this morning, my prof in HE 100 read our goals in life which she had required us to submit as a requirement in class. written there were not only the goals which she required us to categorize as long term and short term goals but also how we would be able to attain those goals. according to her, most of us wrote goals that are so general and told us that we should have been more concrete. by now, we should already have known the things we want to do in life.

she told us that if we want to study abroad, we should have looked for possible schools where we want to go.  

yah, i do realize that the goals i've written were mostly general.  but when i thought of it, i realized that i've actually done all these. when i was in third year, i checked websites of schools which offer the course that i want. these schools sent me brochures of their prorgrams. i can remember that i was even interviewed by one of these schools and asked me if i am really interested in pursuing my masters in their university.

but also, as i ponder more, i realized that everything i planned before were gone. it was as if there was a major shift in my life. if before, i can almost hold them, now, everything seems so distant. i dont know what has caused this but i believe that although you have carefully mapped out your life the way you want it to be but there are really some factors that will come and cause changes in your decisions.

the only thing that you should do is to always have an alternative course of action, a plan B, just in case plan A wont work.  coz in real life scenario, most of the time plan A seldom goes the way you have planned it. in the end, it is how you have overcome the struggles and learned the lessons from every experience you have and applied those in your perennial plotting of life.