"You can't find the right one if you don't let go of the wrong one" - a quote blurted out by ate jo with a mouthful of rice, chicken and sisig.

Things to accomplish this year:

1. Since I'm already turning 22 in less than a month (oh, god, I'm afraid im already too old) I must have a bf.. that's a must.. before this year ends.. But no ex's coming back please...

2. Last for a year in Seattle's Best Coffee... but before i resign, i should be promoted at least one rank higher than my current position.

3. Travel- domestic or international... basta travel. i'd prefer if it's for leisure rather than work-related. siyempre naman...

4. engage in some sports like badminton or dances like jazz, ballroom.. those kinda things. i'm now scouting where i could register.  

Medyo naamaze lang ako today kasi on my way to work kaninang umaga, i bought an inquirer kasi straight duty ako. Kasi di pwedeng la akong ginagawa kung wala masyadong guests so ayun, bumili ako para may babasahin ako.

Amazing lang kasi when i browsed the lifestyle page, i realized that i already know most of the socialites featured there.. some of them are our regular guests in sbc-manila polo club. Kung dati, parang wala lang.. as if i care kung sino sila pero  ngayon, ayun, kilala ko na sila. :D

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Narealize ko not so long ago na most of the times, i can't decide for myself most of the times, parang i always want someone to decide for me tapos sunod nalang ako. it's easier kasi that way e..

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Ngayon din parang naging motto ko sa self ko ang not to worry about things na di pa nangyayari especially pag medyo negative ang nafoforesee mong event. tsaka if something bad happens, make the most out of it nalang. don't dwell on its negative effects masyado pero siyempre andun pa rin ung element ng learning from your mistake. tingnan mo nalang ang brighter side and you'll see there's nothing that can make you feel so rotten.

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sometimes, i wonder what happened to the people i knew before. to the people who were once my closest friends. to them, whom i once shared my laughters and tears. where have they gone all these years? what happened to them?

i often caught myself thinking about the past, every single event that made me so happy and even those that made me so sad... of every single moment of our long gone carefree days..

the dreams we'd built together before... our ambitions.. and all those stuff... the foolishness we did in our younger years... now, thinking of them makes me smile, giggle, and laugh... now, thinking of them makes me feel so sad deep inside that i wanna cry so hard.. it must be the sentimental part of me..

when will our paths cross?

when might the people in my present become the people in my past... will i be conscious of it? will i be aware of it?

of course, it won't always remain as it is.. things have to pass... things have to end... for everything comes to an end...

Dahil walang channel 2 ang TV namin sa bahay which is weird kasi cable naman iyon tsaka kahit walang cable e may channel 2 naman (but im sure this has nothing to do with gma and abs-cbn's current feud), i usually watch gma7's shows at night like marimar, la vendetta and coffee prince.

Iyong marimar, i admit na nagustuhan ko talaga ang story nun tska i was trying to test my memory din if i still recall parts of the story when the original marimar was shown when i was little. Tsaka im trying to see how much of the original story was retained and you know, compare which is better... but my memory seems to fail me kasi super vague na ng original story sa mind ko. though i still remember some parts of it and somehow the theme of the story as well. kaya i content myself watching gma7's version. But that was before... when marimar was still relatively fresh... ngayon kasi i don't think it's still worth watching.. iyong turn ng events sa story are now so unrealistic. marami ng deviations from the original to the point na i think only the names were adopted... marimar, sergio, esperanza, etc... but the story is completely different.. nakakainis na panoorin kasi it seems na super dumb na iyong pinoportray na role ni marian..

pangalawa naman iyong la vendetta... pinapanood ko din to dati since it's kinda different e. Mystery, suspense, iyong tipong ganun... parang it's a break from all the fantaseryes that gma produced.. sa simula okay naman ang naging comment ko sa show pero sa bandang middle na ng story, it seems na nagiging corny, oa and it gives me the feeling na pinapahaba lang talaga nila ang story with so much nonsense episodes... it's a good thing na matatapos na rin ang la vendetta this week..

sana maganda ang ipapalit nilang shows...

or else, i'll email them na talaga to let them know that i am no longer happy with their shows... (as if may weigh ang email ko.. hehe.. sounds familiar?)  

sa ngayon, i watch coffee prince religiously every night.. hehe.. *a certified coffee prince addict*

I have this weird feeling sometimes when i see 3-4 years old children. Especially those children who have adult-like appearances. Weird pero pag nakikita ko sila natatakot ako but this doesn't last long naman. Natatakot lang ako for a few seconds dahil feeling ko nakakakita ako ng person na nagshrink. Meron naman talagang mga bata na makikita mo na ang magiging mukha nila paglaki.. or talaga lang na may mga bata na matured na ang mukha??? ewan.. pero weird lang talaga...

When i meet new people i always give them a hundred percent rating. i see to it that i don't prejudge them in whatever ways... if i hear bad things about them before i actually meet them, i disregard those things and make sure those things won't hinder our possible good and harmonious relationship. and this rating diminishes if they do something i don't like..  so when i hate a particular person this is certainly due to some unwanted circumstances in the past.

looking forward to something new you. looking forward to meet you. :D

Share ko lang...

After so many years, nagkaroon din kami ulit ng communication ng long lost crush ko before sa kalai. Dami kong mga unforgettable moments with him especially nung debut ko. pati na rin mga humiliating situations nung freshie with him.. bwahaha... Naalala ko din tuloy iyong binigay niyang gift dati na super treasured ko kaso nawala ko ata kasi di ko na makita ngayon e. Sayang naman..

Naputol communication namin dati nung biglang lumipat siya ng school nung 2nd year na tas nawala pa ang phone ko. hay.. but just this week, we constantly exchange text messages again.. :D happy lang.

Ibang usapan...

Nagulat ako when one of my closest friends told me na sometimes i get too mushy sa isang bagay na lagi naming nagiging topic.. promise, im really not aware of this na iyon ang impression niya/nila.

 

either to..

>stay in Seattle's Best Coffee for one year as a shift manager (that will be until Aug)

or

>look for other companies

Well... i've been thinking really a lot about this lately

Reasons why i wanted to leave sbc.

1. Compensation. I don't think the amount i receive every month is sufficient considering I work 10 hours a day. But that should only be 9 hours a day plus an hour break but since during the shift i'm the only manager, so i don't get the hour break.

2. Schedule. I want to do so many things aside from work, you know, like find a hobby of some sort or play sports on a regular basis. Or perhaps do my almost forgotten ultimate thing i want... take French classes in Alliance Francaise de Manille which i never got to do because of our ever-changing weekly (sometimes daily) schedule! I couldn't plan things to do for the next week because the only schedule I have is for the current week. My next week's schedule will be out on Sunday or Monday. By the way our week starts on Mondays and ends on Sundays.

3. Vacation. Sometimes when I'm already so stressed out, burnt out and all, I want a break from all these things and go somewhere to unwind. But since there are only 2 managers in our cafe, that's me and Marie, neither of us can have 2 straight days off. Oh, why the heck im thinking of a vacation when i don't have disposable money for this luxury.

Reasons why im staying...

1. Tendering a resignation letter is very difficult for me. I somehow feel ashamed to give it for some reason. I now consider my co-manager as my friend and so as my baristas. My area manager on the other hand is my trainer and i know, he expects so much from me and resigning will definitely disappoint him.

2. Since I just graduated last apr 2007 and have been with the company for 6 months, I don't have much experience yet for me to demand higher compensation.

3. Position. As I said, Im currently a shift manager in sbc. If I look for other job at this point, most likely, companies would offer me entry level positions. At least if I stay for 1 year, my resume would look better with 1 year as shift manager in my work experience.

4. If i leave sbc now, my resume won't look impressive and promising to HRs of other companies.. 6 mos in SBC as a shift manager, 1 month as account executive/events officer in C3 Events place, 3 mos as marketing associate in Eperformax... see?

To make the matter more confusing for me...

If I consider my goal to bring the status of our family levels higher than our current status; working in SBC won't allow me a kickoff. I don't have savings at the end of the month to possibly start any investment. This is where other companies take place. Im looking for a company that will give me that opportunity to start. But call center is an exception.

This is how things goes in my mind:

1 to 2 years from today: I should be able to save enough for my immediate needs and some money invested in something.

3rd-5th year: I've already finished my M.A. (still in Cornell University? I might consider other universities this time) while still working. Have a small business on the side.

6th year and so on: Some of the returns from my investments and business will be invested in other forms and some will be used as additional capital for my business... then returns will be used as capital to expand or to venture in other business...

Ayun, malabo na naman lahat... sigh.. Mixed up na naman lahat sa mind ko.