What's more humiliating than being asked by your employer-to-be during an interview, "Do you think this is the right job for you? If given a chance to choose the industry you want to be in, what would it be?" and answering those questions with, "honestly, I don't know. I don't have any idea at all." How stupid can a person be sometimes!

 

Reality check:

One year ago, I made a timeline on how my life should go from then. According to the timeline I made, by now, I should have already saved a few bucks to pamper myself with an overseas vacation trip, i should have finished my French class and other things. But doing a reality check at this point... Where am I now? I am already a year delayed according to the timeline I made. I'm not even making any progress at all.

 

Someone told me just recently that I am no longer my old optimistic self that I am in college. I noticed this too. Take for example my dreams. Now, I limit myself into dreaming of things according to my present capabilities. It's like I don't wanna dream of something big because I just might get hurt in the future if I don't get them. This is my current self. My old self is ambitious, agressive and idealistic. My old self would have dream big now and making ways to make those big dreams come true. Now that I think of it, I think I miss the old ME.

Gawd... I really hate getting sick. For two days now, I was allowed to leave the store as soon as the closer manager arrives because I'm sick.. just because Im sick with mild fever, cold and cough. I admit I really need to get more rest so my body could recuperate but on the other hand, it's also making me think that I am really sick and I don't want it. Aside from that, I don't want to get special treatment like going home early. And on top of that, I feel guilty for leaving the store when it's still working hours.

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By the way, our unit manager had already submitted my performance appraisal and recommendation for regularization. And next month, I have to take the managers' proficiency exam to formalize my regularization and that would mean that I will already be a section manager.. Should I feel happy? Somehow, I should right but why am I not feeling that way?

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My roommate and I are planning to watch Ne-yo: Live in Manila on Feb 29 but too bad coz I learned that tickets for the concert on that day are already sold out... good thing though that Ne-yo's concert will have part 2 on the following day! We're both looking forward to watch the concert. :D

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Just a few minutes ago, I read blogs of hypochondriacs and did some research about hypochondriasis coz I think Im starting to be a member of the hypochondriac club and it really isn't doing me any good. This started two weeks ago when I kept on forgetting things. Really, not a single day would pass without me forgetting something important to do or leaving things behind like the badminton rocket I bought last Sunday morning and was left in the taxi that afternoon. My co-manager had also told me that I was likely to get Alzheimer's disease upon reaching 30 which got stuck in my head. Then, just recently also, I was feeling like my entire body's aching and I know at the back of my mind that these are just normal muscle pains but I can't help thinking that this might be something really serious. You know I have this tiny lump in my armpits.. it's a cyst or something.. and now I can feel it throbbing sometimes.. or so I thought..

Also, I don't wanna see a doctor and have him examine me coz Im afraid he might found out that I have a deadly disease and will tell me that I only have a year to live. That's so scary right? That makes me not just a hypochondriac but also a "doctor-phobic". haha. This phobia started when I was still 10 years old. I had this major surgery before in my throat and stayed in the hospital for a week with doctors and nurses constantly getting my temperature, blood samples, urine and stool, and other lab stuff. I hated it because I was afraid they'll find something wrong in me.

Since my father's been bugging me about taking the civil service exam for almost a year now, Im taking the civil service examination on March 9 for whatever purposes it may serve me in the future.

For more diversions...

I narrowed down my list of organizations I want to be part of. I've been looking at Greenpeace, habitat for humanity, PETA and PAWS and tonight I think I found what I've been looking for. It was hard for me to decide whether I'll go for PETA or PAWS but after looking at their website, I'll sign-up as a volunteer for PAWS- The Philippine Animal Welfare Society. Why PAWS over PETA? Simply because, I don't know where and how to sign up as volunteer for PETA and I think PETA is so serious with their campaigns whereas for PAWS, you get to choose the work you want to do.

I like taking care of dogs and puppies. I love them. They're so adorable.

---- wen, kahinumdum man hinuon ko nimo before uy. gusto pud baya to nimo magvolunteer sa paws. musta na si mico?---

So far, twice na ako nagcelebrate ng holidays sa bar. 1st was sa padi's-tomas morato with nung new year and most recent was nung valentine's eve, nasa formula-tomas morato ako with ayen. and i was glad to see my crush- DJ Kade. He's really cute with his long hair, fair complexion and matangkad siya, medyo payat nga lang.. pero nonetheless, he's still cute. prettyboy ang dating. he's being payat doesn't make him less attractive naman.

I'm really sorry for falling in love with you. Rest assured, I'm doing everything to make this feeling go away. But as for now, I love you. I honestly love you.

I was already asleep for 5 hours but woke up to post some stuff in this blog. I'm giving all my effort not to think of you. I even erased your mobile number in my phone.
My roomie, Euvi, is coming here in Manila for a product training for 3 days. We'll be celebrating her birthday together! :D But who am I kidding? I memorized your contact numbers... all of them.
I'm submitting my application for PAWS! I'm so excited really. I told my co-manager about it and my baristas at work and I can't help smiling when I mentioned about volunteering work I'll be doing. My barista even asked me if it is my "true calling". Well, I don't know for sure but maybe, just maybe, who knows, right? 

 

I don't wanna trust people again! Looks can really be deceiving.

Less than a month ago I lost a thousand bucks (twas a 1000-bill)  but I never thought it was stolen. I don't believe that someone I know would steal my money. What I just thought was that maybe it fell from my wallet and nobody took it. Or I might had placed it somewhere and left it. Just like all the other things I left everywhere I go though I was very sure of its exact place in my wallet. But it was all in the past and I've forgotten all about it now that I've paid my debts.

And since then, I make sure that my money is inside the division with zipper (before I hid it between the folds) to make sure it doesn't fall. Last friday was the last time I saw my 1500. (3 500-bill) Since i didn't go anywhere other than home and work, and I still have money to spend, I didn't bother looking at it coz I know it's just there inside. But tonight my roommate wanted to borrow 500 pesos, I found out that they were all gone!

This time I'm 100% sure it was stolen. Too bad, I don't have any evidence against the person who took it. I understand that she definitely needs some money because of her child who's currently sick but stealing isn't a solution. 

Another lesson learned. Don't trust anyone. Always be cautious.

today im reminded with a certain heiji kagami and i want to write something about this heiji kagami. next time maybe. just want to keep the name in mind.